Self-care may look different for everyone, but for it to be considered personal care, the behavior must promote health and happiness for you. Not sure how to do it? Think about what it feels like when you stop urinating halfway (although, by the way, you should never do that). That contraction occurs in the pelvic floor muscles. Once you find them, hold that contraction for three to 10 seconds.
You can do 10 repetitions, working up to three sets a day. Self-care that also improves your sex life? Yes, please. The first step to practicing self-care is to learn to be self-compassionate. Pay attention to your inner dialogue and talk to yourself as you would to someone you love.
If you notice that your self-talk isn't loving, pick it up and try again carefully, says marriage and family therapist Zereana Jess-Huff, PhD, MA, LMFT. Sometimes this can be difficult, but the key is to identify the triggers and reformulate the approach when necessary. Jess-Huff points out that working with a therapist can help you eliminate negative self-talk if it's a recurring habit that you can't seem to address on your own. Practicing self-care isn't just about treating yourself or a moment of luxury, such as staying at a boutique hotel on the weekend, buying a completely new closet, or opting for two desserts instead of one.
If you're not sure where to start when it comes to taking care of yourself, these simple self-care tips will help you get on the right path, day by day. The common denominator of self-care practices is that you enjoy the activity a bit, adds Marni Amsellem, PhD, a licensed psychologist in Fairfield County, Connecticut. In fact, adopting a self-care practice that can improve your life, especially when so many things are happening in the world that are out of your control, is another. The activities you include in your self-care routine should strike a balance between activities that bring you pleasure once finished and those that bring you immediate joy, she says.
Whatever your personal care routine, the important thing is that it brings life to you, rather than taking it away. Freitag points out that certain not-so-fun activities count as self-care, such as prioritizing annual checkups and keeping the house clean. What you're looking for in a self-care routine, Kissen says, is a sense of rejuvenation during or after the activity you choose. Instagram might make you think that the only way to practice self-care is to take a bath worthy of a photo shoot (and post a photo of it, obviously).
The authors define self-care as the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-sufficiency to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being. Even preparing healthy meals (especially if you dedicate yourself to the meditative aspects of chopping vegetables) can be self-care, especially because it sets you up for a nutritious week. Self-care should instead consist of a daily practice, which is often made up of small but impactful intentions, to help you maintain energy, satisfaction, and the ability to show yourself to others. No, you don't want to get caught up in episode after episode (being sedentary as a way of life is the opposite of self-care), but getting caught up in a narrative can give your busy brain a break.
That's why a solid self-care routine is critical to staying calm (at least most of the time it's totally normal to have an occasional burst of anxiety).
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